I unexpectedly lost my 56 year old father a few weeks ago. The grief comes in waves, and it is powerful. I'm sharing a recent facebook post of mine below.

I just watched a video about a six year old who lost his mom at 4 and his dad at 6. He gives out small toys to random strangers to see them smile; he was tired of people hurting. So I wonder what did loss/grief do to you? Did it make you angry? Scared to carry on? Did it leave you broken, barely able to move? Did it steal your joy and take away your breath. Or did it make you courageous? Did it lead you to Jesus's feet, begging God to use you. Did you feel a calling? What did you do with your loss/grief? Who did you reach with it? Who did you comfort? Did you let it smother you? Did it drive you to drugs/alcohol/resentment? Or did it change you in ways too powerful to explain? You see this is part of you now. It's who you are.

Grief you've stolen enough of my joy; my hope is in the Lord. As I seek God, usually desperately and hysterically, I'm starting to see His plan. My prayer, is that you find his plan for you. #grief #joyinpain #godspurpose #praythrough  #peace #thedevilsteals #loss #hope #death

We spend countless hours investing in our children, teaching them.  And then, sometimes out of no where, they teach us something.

I met my husband when I was 18 years old.  I was a freshman in college, and he was an older non traditional sophomore.  He was athletic and funny, very funny.  I still have never met a single person that didn’t like him.  Not long after we started dating, he began attending a small Pentecostal church in our college’s small town with me.  Fast forward seven years.  Before we married we decided that we would look for a church that we could agree to raise our future children in.  This was no easy task. 

You see I grew up a preacher’s kid.  I attended a non-denominational church.  You know the kind….the kind that when you had friends attend you prayed that nothing crazy would happen. J  He was raised in a Baptist church. We found a home at Christian Life Church in Murfreesboro, TN.  There we will feel at home and accepted. 

Not long after we started dating I made a decision to praise and worship as I felt led.  I would worship like I was raised and surely he wouldn’t think I was crazy.  :) You see praise is not always easy.  Sometimes I stand there thinking about what he will think, what others will think.  Sometimes I get distracted remembering that prior to children we got their early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee before the service started.  Sometimes I sit there thinking of how exhausted I am after chasing little ones all week, but I praise anyway.  I praise because He is worthy, and BECAUSE THEY (the girls) ARE WATCHING.  If you sat near us at church you would be appalled or entertained.  You see although children’s church opens 15 min before the service starts, we choose to keep our children (2 and 3 years old) in the service with us.  They stay with us through praise and worship, prayer, and through the offering.  There isn’t much sweeter than watching their cute curly heads walk their money to the alter and place it in the basket.  This morning G, my two year old, pointed and turned to tell a woman to “wait you turn.”

So how could anyone be appalled by this??  Well if we get there early enough, (by early enough I mean not more than 10 minutes late) we sit on an aisle seat and let the girls stand in the aisle.  There they loudly attempt to sing lyrics that they don’t know, raise their hands, twirl around, dance, and jump.  Today during the prayer, E (my 3 yr old) knelt down, put her head on the ground, and outstretched both hands.  I guess they are a little distracting to others, but almost every Sunday they make tears fill my eyes.  That is until E tells me she is “all done,” is “ready to give my money to Jesus,” or “ready to put my money in the basket and go play with my friends.”

Back to my wonderful husband.  In the 13 years we have attended church together I have seen him offer a praise offering by clapping, quietly mouth the words to songs, and hold my hand as we pray.  Today during praise and worship both of my girls were dancing and raising their hands.  Then the youngest stopped and looked at her daddy.  She pointed to him and said “Daddy, you raise you hands!”  He looked at her, paused just half a second, and lifted his hand.  Remember, I praise because He is worthy and BECAUSE THEY (the girls) ARE WATCHING.

We spend countless hours investing in our children, teaching them.  And then, sometimes out of no where, they teach us something.

                                       

Gentry is Here.....typical second child, birth story comes 2 yrs late

Gentry Coraline is here.  She weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and was 20 inches long.

Dear Gentry,
I don't want you to look at this one day and realize that your birth announcement is missing.  I wish I had done this immediately after having you, but life was more than a little crazy with a newborn and a 17 month old.  I am doing my best to not make you feel like a second child.  I try hard to burn all the memories in my head and to take as many pictures and videos as possible.  Here is your story:


I just couldn't wait to meet you!  Emory's sitter was leaving to go out of town, so I was induced in my 39th week so that we would have help with Emory while I was at the hospital.  We arrived at the hospital at 6am (your papaw and aunt Wendy drove me there).  Nannie and Pop met us there. I had a pretty intense 2 hrs until daddy got here. (He let Emory sleep a bit and then dropped her off at the sitter's house.)  Once he arrived I got an epidural which helped some but not enough.  One side was numb, but the other was not.  I did not have complete pain relief, was scared, and had to have my water broken with an incomplete epidural...YIKES!  You arrived at 13:54.

We love you so much.  You look like a little doll.  Your sister came out screaming.  You cried, but then got very quiet and just looked at me.  You were oddly quiet but so sweet.   Below are a few pictures of you. P.S. that isn't a "Southern Tan" as someone said.  It is Tennessee Jaundice. :)  One is of me right before we left to go to the hospital, one is of me and you after we got home.  The picture of you in the dress was your going home outfit.  I also included our first family photo.  That picture was the first of many unsuccessful photos (baby bunching problems)  :)  Love you to the moon and back.

31 Days of Prayer for My Children: Day 31

I have indirectly prayed this, but it is the single most important prayer that I can pray as a mother.  So here it goes again:

Dear Lord, I pray that my children come to know you at a very young age.  I pray that they are saved and cling close to your side, especially during their teenage years.  I pray that they allow Jason and I and our church to minister to them.  I pray that they trust you and lean on you.  I pray that they are more concerned with heavenly things than others their age.  I pray that their faith in you and devotion to your word and calling keep them safe from the temptations of the flesh.  God, save my children....your children.

31 Days of Prayer for My Children: Day 30

Father, I pray that my children trust you to guide their steps, and I pray that they trust me to guide decisions they make in their youth.  Help them realize that I am seeking your face in my life and in theirs.  Help them to honor my wishes and trust to trust me.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

31 Days of Prayers for My Children: Day 29

God, help my children see others as you do.

 I found the prayer below online and thought it was very appropriate for today’s prayer.

“Dear Lord, in 2 Corinthians 5:17, You remind me that if any person is in Christ, they become a new creation—the old is passed, the new has come. Please deepen my understanding of what You are doing in lives of those around me.  Give me Your power to let go of the “before” pictures I hold on to and offer forgiveness if needed. Give me Your eyes to see and celebrate the life change that You are bringing about. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

31 Days of Prayer for My Children: Day 28

Lord, I pray that my children have a heart for missions.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10)

“You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and ordained you that you should
Go & bring forth fruit." (John 15:16)

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations.” (Matt. 28:19)

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and Follow Me. “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matt. 6:24 & Matt. 4:19)

"In this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit" (John 15:8)

"Love the LORD your God, walk in all his ways, obey his commands, hold fast to him, and serve Him with all your heart & all your soul." (Joshua 22:5)